Writing that Kills

Real-life samples from an essay about how technology affects our lives (10th grade, college-prep):

  • “If we didn’t have cars we would have to walk to work or the grocery store or ride horses there, which can get very uncomfortable after time. It’s way easier to just drive to the store or work. It’s better for our safety because we can get hurt by walking too much as we can get severely injured riding horses too, but I’m not saying we can’t get hurt driving cars either I’m just saying that we have more protection in cars.”
  • “The internet may have helped us out in many ways, but have you ever had chronic back pain, serious head injuries or deaf implants?”

Here’s to a wonderful Wednesday. Make sure to do your weekly cleaning of your “deaf implants.”

8 thoughts on “Writing that Kills

  1. “Liberials are the sourse of all evil” Remember that one? πŸ™‚
    I miss being your cute little TA and chuckling at these. I hope my writing was never this…different.

    • Oh, JL, how I miss you as my cute little TA also. Funny thing is that I thought I might be the only one to take offense to that comment scrawled across an essay. As if the poor little guy even knew what a “liberial” was. I’m sending you an email about how my mother and I refer to students like that lost soul…of which, my dear, you were NEVER one. Not even in the same league. In other news, you CAN still be my cute (intelligent and vivacious and beautiful) TA if you submit your application to Western Washington. I’m just sayin’.

      PS–will you send me a copy of your word essay? The imagery in it still makes me shudder, and I want to use it as a sample this year. xoxo

  2. EJ, CB and LA,

    Just seeing your faces in my mind’s eye gives soothes my teaching soul. Long distance xo’s. And, we’re transcending…watching Into the Wild. Emile Hirsch is like rose balm to a scratched skin. **sigh**

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